Are you trying too hard in your Spiritual Walk? I don't mean to be flippant or to take lightly the fact that we need to put energy and effort into our spiritual journey – we absolutely do. But it is all too easy to get ourselves uptight about it and forget that God really is the only one who can truly change things – either in our circumstances, in our hearts, and especially in the people around us.
Not long ago in a worship service I attended the pastor led a guided meditation asking each one of us to imagine ourselves walking along a road talking with Jesus. He told us to imagine what burden or concern we would surrender to Him for healing in that conversation, and what He would say about it. I had been struggling with discerning what God was calling me to do in my life, and also about a situation in which people I cared about were apparently unable to see some spiritual truths in that situation. They simply couldn't grasp how it related to them or affected their lives, and these concerns were what came to my mind during that meditation. As soon as I articulated those concerns in my mind, the phrase "you are trying too hard" popped into my head. I didn't hear a voice, but I knew that thought hadn't originated in my own consciousness.
That quick thought reminded me that changing myself, the world, or people around me isn't really up to me, it's up to God. Yes, I have to put time and effort into prayer and learning and sometimes behavior modification and so on, but the results of that effort are neither my responsibility, nor do I have the choosing of exactly when or how those results come about. That's God's province, and I need to remember to let Him handle it. What is up to me is to let go and be available for Him to work in and through me. I also need to remember to wait on the Holy Spirit to move me before I push ahead.
I remember another time I heard clearly from God about this. I was impatiently asking why He wouldn't show me what the next few steps would be in a certain season of my growing, and I clearly heard Him say "Because if I show you, you will run on ahead before you are ready". As much as I wanted to say "no I won't", I was chagrined to realize that He was absolutely right. Once I saw the path I would immediately push on, whether the Spirit was leading or not.
God has to be the one in charge. We can't do anything by our own striving. Even with the best intentions in the world, if we expect results from our own efforts, and act as if what we do is the key, we are doomed to disappointment. God alone is responsible for the results and their timing. Ideas like "If I don't do it , it won't get done", or "I'm the only one that can handle it", or "if I get right on it, it will get done sooner", or "the harder I work at it, the quicker it will happen" absolutely do not apply. Although we can't shirk doing things we know we need to do, we have to let God be in charge of the results.
Thank you Lord for your frequent reminders that, despite the saying, if it is to be, it is up to You, not me. Help me to stay by Your side, not running ahead, or pushing the cart. Help me to keep myself available and submitted to You and let You create Your will in and through my life. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Kathy
I was driving down the road and enjoying the return of color to the trees, grasses and flowers, the visual heralding of spring's return. And then I was thinking about all the colors in God's creation, which somehow led me to thoughts about the color of prayer (something that I had never thought of). Before you think I am totally crazy, let me explain.
Prayers come in different types and we pray for different reasons. I am basically a visually oriented person, so it helps me to visualize ideas and concepts. Seeing color in prayer is just another way of visualizing the idea and concept of prayer.
I believe that some prayers are yellow and bright orange. These are the prayers of joy and praise much like Psalm 100 and Psalm 150. Some prayers are light blue as in balance of plea and praise fo Psalm 73. Some are shades of green – I think Psalm 23 fits this best. Then there are the reds – angry and loud as the voices heard in Psalm 83 and 137. Some prayers are dark blue and purple like the cries heard in Psalm 102.
There are the prayers that are gray – the clouds of despair are present but praise is still heard as in Psalm 130 – and there are the prayers that are black like the prayer found in Psalm 22 (and even it ends in praise). Prayers are even white or a mix of colors – Psalm 119 covers a lot of territory and colors in my mind.
The Psalms are a collection of prayers (and more) and come in many colors as you see. I think God gave that to us in His Word so that we can see that our prayers come in different forms and speak of different feelings and emotions and they are all okay because God is interested in every part of our being.
So, what color is your prayer?
Be well,
Steve
Well, it's been several months now, and we are pretty well settled into our new home (moving 2 times in 3 weeks, 3 times in less than 6 months is no picnic, let me tell you!). Steve still doesn't have a steady job (and mine is only part-time), which is a huge concern, but God has been providing. Financial uncertainty, as usual, causes me to reflect and often argue with God about His provision. Do you ever find yourself arguing – or at least spewing out your side of the argument – with Him? I do it a lot when I'm not happy with something in my life. The general gist generally seems to be along the lines of, "Look God, your word says xyz, or You've promised this or that, and I don't see it. Why aren't you taking care of this?" Of course, what I really mean is why aren't you doing it my way, or taking care of it in a way that I can see the results now. Now, or my way, is usually what I'm trying to get.
I know we are told in Scripture that we will have struggles, and God is with us in them, and He has it under control. And I do believe that, and trust Him, but it is very hard to be patient and wait on His timing, and His way. Patience is probably my biggest struggle, along with fear. All the what if's. It's a constant struggle between faith and fear and trust and impatience. I know I'm not the only one with this struggle – I think it is pretty common to just about every person of faith to one degree or another.
After a while of arguing and complaining I generally get back to a place of rest in faith and trust, and let it alone – until the next time the fear or impatience gets the upper hand. Isn't it wonderful that we have a God that is big enough and patient enough to let us express our feelings to Him honestly? No matter what they are, He is big enough to let us get it out of our system until we can once again rest in His peace.
Thank you Lord for your endless patience, understanding, and compassion. Thank you that you never let our bubbling emotions – even the negative ones – turn You against us. Thank you that Your love is big enough to take all our complaints and doubts and even anger and absorb them and leave only Your peace when we truly let go and let You be You. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Kathy
