“Do Your Best and Trust God for the Rest.”
That phrase is one I was taught fairly young. Perhaps you were too. I don’t know about you, but in my life, there have been far too many times (one of them being now) that it’s very hard to stick to the second part of that. What happens when you do your best, expect God to do the rest, as you’ve been taught, and nothing changes or improves with your situation? More than once I have been at a point where my faith is hanging by a thread and just about the only reason I haven’t said “F**k you!” to God is because there really isn’t any viable alternative! Sorry if that language offends you, but sometimes for me profanity is the only language that is strong enough in emotional content to sufficiently communicate how I’m feeling. I rarely use that sort of language anywhere but inside my own head (seldom, even there), but it occasionally feels appropriate, although I know it isn’t “nice” or “holy”. Oh well, too bad – deal with it. I doubt it’s the only time you’ve heard those words, just maybe not addressed towards God. But if God can’t deal with the truth of our emotions, then He isn’t the God I think He is (He created them, don’t forget).
How do we deal with emotions and situations like that? I do it by crying out, and even yelling at God. I believe He is big enough to handle the worst I can possibly dish out. I cry and yell and vent – even if it is in the privacy of my secret place with Him – and then just sit and rest in His presence and allow Him to comfort me. He always does. I may not feel arms around me or a presence ‘holding’ me, but after a time, my emotions settle and I have new strength, even if all the good it does me is to enable me to keep on keeping on. I really hate it that sometimes – often, if the truth be told, far more often than I like – that is all the answer I get. But I do get that strength and peace. It doesn’t last forever, and if the situation doesn’t change, more often than not, I end up going through it all over again (I’m not terribly patient, have you guessed that?). I have to keep reminding myself that our timing isn’t God’s timing and neither are we able to see things as He does. His ways are not our ways.
I hope and pray that SOMEDAY I will understand the whys and wherefores of all these times of deep struggle and emotional pain. Despite my lack of understanding, I DO believe that nothing can or does happen to me that God does not use for good, and He DOES love me, far more than I can comprehend. I do my best to trust in His sovereignty and expect that, whatever the reason for the situation I am in, there IS a reason, and He WILL bring good out of it. It isn’t easy – ever – but with His help, in those times in my secret place, I find new strength to bear the burdens that seem too much to bear. I generally end up giving Him praise and glory, even if doing so begins as an act of will, rather than the natural outpouring of feeling. In the end, I know He is worthy, no matter how I feel.
Remember, if you come into one of those times, you are NEVER alone!