Is it Me, or Is it God?

I’ve written before about different facets of my struggles with doubt and lack of trust, and my belief that we all struggle with different aspects or levels of this.  But is it God we are doubting, or is it ourselves?

A devotion I was doing had some questions about doubt in Christ’s or God’s ability vs being convinced of our own worthiness or ability.  It got me thinking along a slightly different track regarding trust, and I realized that at least some of my own struggles have been a result of self-doubt.  In pondering the matter, I recognized that it isn’t God or Jesus’ ability I find myself doubting,but rather His willingness to act when I ask.  Whether it is doubt in my ability to discern correctly what God is wanting to do in a situation, or because I doubt that I carry enough “weight” to get God to respond to my prayers, it still comes down to self-doubt, more than doubting God.

It’s really amazing to me that I can still have such deeply entrenched self-doubt when I have had vast amounts of evidence, both from scripture and experience in my own walk with Him, to – one would think – convince me that God will hear, and that my prayers do move Him to act, because He says so.  Do you find yourself in the same position?  I think we all need to be reminded of how very important we, as co-heirs with Christ and chosen as God’s children, are to Him.  Scripture is full of such reminders if we will only pay attention when we read it.  It is also helpful to think back over the answered prayers, the times we have felt His presence and/or His love, and any experiences we have had of His active work in our lives.  List them, if that helps, and read back over the list often.  I’ll bet your list is at least as long as mine, if you just think about it.  Each of us has a very special place in God’s heart, and He, like a doting father, wants to bless us when we ask.

Father God, help us to remember that each one of us – me, I – am Your favorite child and You are eager to move and act and give in response to my prayers.  All the time.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Kathy